Limerick Review: Cinderella

So, Disney takes another shot

At untying a fairy-tale knot.

And whatever they've done,

We've all seen the old one,

So I won't waste your time with the plot.

The source loyalty's not dogmatic,

And though the key bits remain static,

With Chris Weitz as writer,

The story is tighter

And markedly less problematic.

So a lot of the flaws we recall

Become an issue to forestall,

Like, early en route,

The couple meet cute

To make sure they've met before the ball.

Sure, these aren't dramatic right hooks,

But scenes like this improve on the books.

And it has to appear

So it's passably clear

That he likes her for more than her looks.

Bonham Carter's godmother's pace

Eschews the traditional grace.

And I rather suspect

That her kooky affect

Will, for some, feel a bit out of place.

Frequently, jokes will pass by,

But each dip for laughs comes up dry,

And that gets cemented,

For each joke's augmented

With somewhat slapdash CGI.

The lame jokes do make me frustrated,

And tempt me to simply berate it.

And I guess if it's strewn

With unfunny cartoons,

You may just as well animate it.

But then sometimes it does come through,

And does something lovely or new,

Like one scene that comes late,

When Stepmother narrates

The whole story from her point of view.

Or when Ella, for all of her toil,

Is quickly taken for a royal,

And takes the dance floor

To an exquisite score

By Branagh's cohort, Patrick Doyle.

In fact, that tends more to disarm

Than scenes taking place on the farm,

It's rarely saluted,

But Branagh's better-suited

For royal courts than rustic charm.

It can get bogged down in joke-making,

But there should be zero mistaking:

When it is bad,

It might dwindle a tad,

But when it's good, it's just breathtaking.