Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Limerick Review: Arrow S3E23, My Name Is Oliver Queen

A vax from Merlyn saves the day,
And Flash briefly comes out to play,
And while he's sympathetic,
He offers a pathetic
Handwave as to why he can't stay.

Then, somewhat to my dismay,
Katana steps out of the fray.
But Ollie, still sane,
Sabotages the plane
The trap's sprung, but Ra's still gets away.

Ra's wants to make the virus spread,
But Thea's back, now decked in red.
And newly-supported,
The team sees the plan thwarted,
And Oliver kills Ra's stone dead.

Freed from being Ra's' tool,
Nyssa goes back to ninja school,
Only to find
That there's no peace of mind,
For Merlyn's the new Ra's Al Ghul.

Now Ollie, guided by a dream,
Chooses to pursue a new stream.
And thus it transpires
That Ollie retires,
And leaves the city to his team.

I've said this show could be a gem,
If it would focus on the femmes.
Now we're happ'ly aligned
To leave Ollie behind
And retool the show around them.

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Limerick Review: The Flash S1E23, Fast Enough

Thawne, interrogated, is calm,
But drops an offer like a bomb:
If he won't be harried,
Then he'll permit Barry
To go back and rescue his Mom.

The choice here is hard to assess,
And Barry takes a brief recess
To ask for advice
Whether to pay the price,
And, at great length, decides to say yes.

He's shot back in time like a spring,
And when the time comes for a swing,
He comforts and cries
With his mom while she dies,
But chooses not to change anything.

Returned before Wells could get gone,
Barry fights his escape with fists drawn.
And to turn the tide,
Eddie commits suicide
To erase his descendant, Thawne.

A resultant black hole starts its clanging,
And without a moment's haranguing,
Barry runs 'round,
Trying to shut it down,
And 'til next season, we're left hanging.

The series has really progressed,
And during the time of its rest,
It will be missed.
But aside from one twist,
This wasn't the show at its best.

Limerick Review: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. S2E21 and S2E22, S.O.S.

Diplomacy's hit a few snags,
The sort that require body bags.
So war's broken out,
The battle's a rout,
And Jiaying's busy planting false flags.

Now, Raina serenely objects,
But Jiaying needs all her subjects.
So rather than gloat,
She just cuts Raina's throat,
But Skye catches her and defects.

Now Cal seems to be in a clamp,
But a drug cocktail gives him an amp.
And while those prosthetics
Might fail in aesthetics,
MacLachlan's delightfully camp.

The Inhumans will not be barred,
And catch the carrier off-guard.
They capture the ship,
But some give them the slip,
And Mack gets to pull a Die Hard.

Hunter and May found the spot
Where Bobbi was tricked and then caught.
The two win the day,
Although in the melee,
Both Bobbi and faux-May get shot.

Jiaying has Terrigen, and gets to it,
Flying out to more broadly spew it.
Skye's ready to spring,
But then Cal kills Jiaying
To spare Skye from having to do it.

That's done, but there's still more to set,
And there must still be some kind of threat.
So Terrigens fly
Into the food supply
To set up more Inhumans yet.

So Cal, for his dopey part,
Is set loose with blank mind but big heart.
But Coulson and Skye
Must return to play spy.
There's a Secret Avengers to start.

With FitzSimmons together anew,
A few people's ships have come true.
But before that's adjourned,
While Fitz's back is turned,
Simmon's swallowed by alien goo.

For a while, the show had declined,
And I'd written it off in my mind,
But free of that fetter,
This finish is better
Than the rest of the season combined.

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Limerick Review: The Flash S1E22, Rogue Air

So our heroes find Wells' track,
But he runs when they come to attack.
Wells remains un-caught,
But it wasn't for naught,
'Cause they manage to get Eddie back.

But Wells' plans aren't saved for later,
And he might turn the lab to a crater,
And "meta"s under key
Will be doomed if he
Re-starts the accelerator.

Although Barry never forgave them,
He still won't let Wells autoclave them.
And though it's not smart,
He even hires Snart
In one last-ditch effort to save them.

So he gets them all out, perforce,
But it turns into a Trojan Horse.
They all get in a scrape,
The rogues make their escape,
And it all goes to crap, 'cause of course.

And there's time for one more mad dash,
With a massive blowout, team-up clash
As Firestorm and Arrow
Both jump on the barrow
To beat up Wells, the Reverse-Flash.

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Limerick Review: Arrow S3E22, This Is Your Sword

Ollie's, by now, purged of all pity,
And his affect seems all dark and gritty.
And now he's come through,
He is thusly meant to
Marry Nyssa, then kill Starling city.

But he has a new plan unfurlin',
That, with luck, will set us whirlin'
Although it's unclear
Where it all goes from here,
He's secretly plotting with Merlyn.

To Starling town Merlyn then treks
To recruit those who Ollie respects.
They launch an assault
On old Ra's Al Ghul's vault,
And Tatsu puts a sword through her ex.

Ollie's meant to confuse and inspire us,
Though the flashbacks continue to tire us.
So Akio's dead,
Ollie's soon to be wed,
And his friends are locked up with the virus.

It*s not meant to be understood
Whether Ollie's with the brotherhood.
Nobody knows.
That keeps us on our toes,
And this ep was uncommonly good.

Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Limerick Review: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. S2E20, Scars

Although tie-ins were once a fixture,
This episode sidesteps that stricture,
And only devotes
Its first couple notes
To a plot point from their latest picture.

Bobbi thinks she's with May, unshaken,
But quickly learns that she's mistaken.
The May that we see
Is Agent 33,
And Ward secretly has Bobbi taken.

Now Raina, precog, sounds the chimes,
And warns of impending SHIELD crimes,
But as much as it grieves her,
Still no one believes her.
She's cried wolf too many times.

Gonzalez wants peace, no one blames him,
But an impulse to catalogue claims him,
And the threat of a cage
Provokes massive outrage,
Skye's mom kills Gonzalez and frames him.

It does seem an odd way to go,
And a break with the character flow.
Skye's mom was a pillar,
But now she's a killer.
Why? I guess the plot said so.

Limerick Review: The Flash S1E21, Grodd Lives

Iris finds she's the newcomer
To knowing 'bout Flash. That's a bummer,
So she doesn't tarry
In tracking down Barry.
She confronts him for keeping it from her.

A new rogue, who's dour and unsmiling,
Runs about in milit'ry styling.
Flash takes him to task,
But when they unmask,
It turns out to be General Eiling.

But the Eiling facade is for show,
And the real puppeteer dwells below.
The team goes in madly,
But that goes quite badly,
Wells has Eddie, and Grodd now has Joe.

Barry finds that it's quite a strain
To fight one with a psychic brain.
Though it's not well played,
With Iris' aid,
He defeats Grodd by way of a train.

It's easy enough to be snide,
And the CGI's fun to deride,
But really, whether Grodd
Made you jeer or applaud,
I just love the fact they even tried.

Hit Song Limericks, Week of 5/9/15

1. See You Again by Wiz Khalifa feat. Charlie Puth

Wiz never was good at grooving,
And though he showed signs of improving,
I wasn't prepared
To realize there'd
Be a Wiz song that's actually moving.

2. Uptown Funk! by Mark Ronson feat. Bruno Mars

What more really need be said?
Is this ground that I need to retread?
Uptown Funk is great,
And I appreciate
That even now, it stays ahead.

3. Trap Queen by Fetty Wap

When on the charts this first appeared,
It had too many flaws to be cheered,
But I have to embrace
That the charts still have space
For something just this goddamn weird.

4. Earned It (Fifty Shades of Grey) by The Weeknd

So all of that sweet movie money
Makes something less melting than runny.
And I'd lay it low,
If that darn video
Weren't so unwittingly funny.

5. Sugar by Maroon 5

It's still the same song it was then
From the world's douchiest men.
But now Derulo's got
The same song, come to naught.
So why do we need this again?

6. Love Me Like You Do by Ellie Goulding

Once, Goulding was worthy of praise,
And her EDM would amaze.
But I can't recommend
This latest, dull blend.
Remember "Lights?" Those were good days...

7. Shut Up And Dance by WALK THE MOON

This looked annoying, at a glance,
With MPDGs and romance,
But in spite of my doubt,
Somehow it works out,
And really makes me want to dance.

8. Thinking Out Loud by Ed Sheeran

Last year, Ed Sheeran would wow,
And stood, tall and proud, at the prow.
And yet he wants to prove
He can still lose the groove.
You can stop being so boring now.

9. G.D.F.R. by Flo Rida feat. Sage the Gemini & Lookas

Flo Rida's work's never been strong,
So I won't linger on this too long.
Not one to believe in,
Turns out it's not even
That good as a Flo Rida song.

10. Want to Want Me by Jason Derulo

I thought Derulo took a dive,
But with this song, he's still alive.
I'll put this concisely:
The song sounds precisely
Like "Sugar" by Maroon 5