Hit Song Limericks, Week of 9/12/15

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1. Can't Feel My Face by The Weeknd


The drug metaphor this works through
Is not fundamentally new.
But while it never thrills,
Between this and The Hills,
It's by far the better of the two.

2. Cheerleader by OMI

I still like this nice, mellow brew.
Beyond that, not much I can do.
It doesn't fall short.
For a fuller report,
Please refer to my prior review.

3. Watch Me by Silento
Its greed is but lightly disguised,
But it's still to slight to be despised.
Suffice it to say,
The song's a replay,
And the dances are all plagiarized.

4. The Hills by The Weeknd


A tone of dark menace is courted,
But all its attempts are still thwarted.
It's dreary and gray,
And at the end of day,
The vocals are just too distorted.

5. Lean On by Major Lazer & DJ Snake feat. M0


Though there's quality - that's understood - 
It repeats itself more than it should.
To which some will say
It's intended that way,
But that doesn't make the song good.

6. Good For You by Selena Gomez feat. A$AP Rocky



The original wasn't that great,
And that looks unlikely to abate,
All they did was inject
A crackle sound effect
And a rapper who's firmly third rate.

7. 679 by Fetty Wap feat. Remy Boyz



Another song that takes a frolic,
Hedonistic and alcoholic.
I don't know what to say,
The song's not worth a play,
And the video's weirdly shambolic.

8. Locked Away by R. City feat. Adam Levine

R. City now hopes to endear
Themselves to our collective ear.
But here is my thing:
It's quite clear they can sing,
So why is Levine even here?

9. Trap Queen by Fetty Wap



I don't know how this could contrive
To get here, then go on to thrive.
It's weird as a hit
When the one catchy bit
Is the hook he can't even sing live.

10. Fight Song by Rachel Platten

The older songs from which this pours
Were almost universally bores.
Though it's got good intent,
It's a tired sentiment
With deeply uninspired metaphors.